I know, I know. This blog would be so much better with pictures. Maybe with pictures it would advance past the boring-avoid-at-all-costs level. Sorry bout that. I truly DO have lots of wonderful ideas for posts… complete with pretty pictures to look at… the problem comes in the execution of said ideas. In part because of the vast array of health oddities that have befallen me in the last year and a half. Basically I have no energy or clarity to even think most of the time, and only just enough to THINK about doing stuff the rest of the time… not enough to actually do.

I really hope this will change soon, and so… (as I always seem to do)… and daydream about what I’ll do when I feel up to it. My list of “want-to-dos” is HUGE. Think Santa’s Nice list from the movie The Santa Clause. Totally that long.

Since I’m not there yet, I guess I’ll continue the old, boring ‘format’ for now. At least today I have a sorta kinda funny (or two) that relates.

The first one-

I saw my doc again Wednesday. He wasn’t as frustrated with me this time. I think mostly cuz Mom once again went with and this time she piped up and said a whole lot. Stuff about symptoms I’d had in the last few weeks and stuff about how paranoia is the name of the game for me. How I’m scared to tell him anything for fear he’ll quit believing me or seeing me. (Actually the comment I’d made was closer to “He’s about 3mo past due for no longer believing me”… I started seeing him in June, you do the math.)

Anyhow. I’ve been having a real rough couple of weeks and so he decided to change my meds all up. I’m now on Zithromax (more about that later) and Flagyl, and 2, count them TWO anti-depressants. Oy vey! While Mom was writing down the instructions on how much and when and when to increase and so forth (cause I could never remember otherwise), doc had me stand up to do the whole stand-with-your-eyes-closed test. “Did you just tip?” he asked as I stood up out of the chair. Ummm, that would be a yes. (I’ve been WAY off-balance the last couple of weeks.)

I barely got my eyes closed when he decided that was enough… on to the grab-my-fingers-as-hard-as-you-can test. Flunked that one again, of course. “Still weak” he said. He doesn’t know it but I would have flunked that test 15 years ago! lol I commented that after last month’s visit my mom discovered (and declared) that my son had the same strength I did. (The more amazing thing is my daughter has way more! but I didn’t think of that at the time.) The funny is my doc’s response to that. He said “I bet your son likes that. He can arm wrestle Mom.”

Ok. Maybe you just had to be there, but I thought it was pretty funny. My doc also told me I was a real piece of work at this visit. I’m not sure how to take that. =/

The second funny I have for you deals with a new Olympic sport. Last night I stretched a little sitting here at the computer and when I was through I had a couple of muscles start twitching. Now the twitching is nothing new. I have dozens and dozens of muscle twitches all over all day long. I’ve even had my tongue twitch! This was a new thing, though. Synchronized muscle twitching. I had a twitch in each buttock in matching areas! Never had synchronized twitches before. It should totally be an Olympian event, I could so TOTALLY compete! LOL

On the ‘plan’ for this coming week??

Well, if I can manage to grab enough ‘feel ok’ time, I want to get started on Matthew’s western shirt. He was so excited to learn Mom could make western shirts with real honest-to-goodness pearl snaps! He picked out the fabric he wanted and is just giddy with anticipation. Me? Not so much. I can’t help it! I love making the western shirts, I do, but see, the thing is I kinda have in mind that they will look like… oh I don’t know… a western shirt?!?! when they are done. Not like something you’d see Bozo wearing. The fabric he picked out is a little bold and a little Oriental. Not exactly your typical western shirt fare. Ah well.

Also I’d like to get a t-shirt appliqued for Meagan to wear with her favorite pair of (new) culottes. Bright, bold lime green with frogs. She wants a shirt with one of each of the different frogs on it.

After that I want to get the DVD racks wrapped in denim and hung.

Then there are the pillows out of bandanas to make. And the curtains for the kitchen, laundry room, and linen closet. And then there’s the 3 different quilts I have started that I need to be working on…

Of course, chances of me getting even the first one done this coming week are slim. Still. I can dream.

Posted: August 30th, 2008 under Lyme disease, blogging, funnies, just life, projects.
Comments: none

Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I’ll be here till the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
-from the song “Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Clash

Found this morning on a crumpled piece of notepaper left on the table:

WWW.MUSICLYRICS.COM

Gary Allen “Empty Glass”

Kevin Fowler “Hand me to love”

Grechin Wilson “Come to Bed”

Tim McGraw “Like We Never Loved”

Kasley “Never Should have let you go”

Tank “Please don’t go
Maybe I deserve

Sisgo These are the times

Slipknot “Lest we forget”

Guns and Roses November Rain

Bon Jovi I’ll be There for You

Boyz II Men “End of the Road

Bon Jovi “It’s my life”

It appears to be my husband’s handwriting. I do not know what to think. Mike’s musical taste (as in the ONLY things I’ve EVER heard him listen to…) are pretty set… the ‘oldies’ (especially Peter, Paul, & Mary) and a few select ‘others’… like the Bangles and Harry Chapin. He definitely does NOT do heavy metal or country. In fact, when we first got together and I listened to county music, I was forever getting teased about it. He despised the whole genre and would not put up with it on the radio in the car (or CMT either!). Heavy metal wasn’t really teased, but only because neither of us liked it… at all.

So here we have a list of ‘mushy’ songs (at least I assume they are all mushy… I don’t actually recognize any of them, but they all seem mushy), at least one of which is by a country music artist, one of which is by a young ‘hip’ boys band, and three of which are by heavy metal artists. The other artists I’ve never even heard of!

I don’t know what to think. I have tried all day now to come up with some ‘explanation’ or ’story’ behind this list… Here are 3 very different explanations I came up with:

1. A list of song titles for an “I love you and hope you feel better soon” CD for me (wow! talk about my self-centeredness coming through, huh?)… that was compiled either through the help of musiclyrics.com itself or by one of his coworkers with the suggestion to “look them up on musiclyrics.com”.
2. A list of song titles for an “I love you and am really sorry to do this, but really it’s better this way…I’m leaving you because I don’t love you anymore (or I love someone else)” CD for me (ok, and this one would be the paranoia coming through…) that was compiled either through the help of musiclyrics.com itself or by the good-for-nuthin-husband-stealin other woman with the suggestion to “look them up on musiclyrics.com”.
3. A list of song titles he heard, liked (probably for one of the above reasons), and wanted to know the complete lyrics to… all played on a single radio station he was listening to at work.

These were the three ‘most likely’ scenarios my mind came up with. From those three, my highly reasonable, list-making, option-weighing mind tried to objectively narrow down THE most likely…

1. Mike has made me ‘mixed tape’ type things in the past. Inevitably they contain a mix of oldie-but-goodie songs, and although they are generally meant to say something like “I love you and think you are special enough to make this special mix CD for you“, they have never really been the kind that says “these songs express my feelings for you”. More like “these are songs I know, or at least THINK I know, you like and most of them I like too and that may actually be why I think YOU like them or they have the word love in them and so therefore are mix-CD worthy“. Things like “Purple People Eater”, “Tom Dooley”, “Love Potion No. 9″, “Leavin’ On a Jet Plane”, “Alice’s Restaurant”, “Great Balls of Fire”, and anything by Ray Stevens, etc. So, while he has been known to ‘mix-it-up’ to show his love for me in the past, this particular list is so far from his standard modus operandi it makes Option #1 highly UN-likely…even if he did have help from a co-worker.
2. While there have been times in the past 12 years that I have questioned/doubted/wondered his sincerity when he says “I love you” and have even wondered whether he was wanting/planning to get rid of me, I’ve never had any REAL reason to suspect that his leaving me was an actual possibility.
3. Seriously. Heavy Metal, Country, and R&B/Pop all on one radio station?!? Gimme a break!

So the MOST likely of the three? Obviously that would be Option # 2. Which just goes to show my psychosis. Granted, it is not helped by the contradictory allusions towards the end of the list… “I’ll be there for you”… “end of the road”…. Aaaahhhhh!!!! The confusion!!!!

Think I’ll go search up a good chicken recipe to make for dinner for the husband that may or may not be hurrying home to his seriously-screwed-up-in-the-head not-so-little wife tonight after possibly, but possibly not, having listened to every mushy song from every imaginable genre while working either in the Texas heat or in an air-conditioned guard shack all day. (Thus a new dilemma…hot chicken? or cold?)

Posted: July 18th, 2008 under funnies, just life.
Comments: none

Ok. Yes, I know this post is about 3.4 seconds after the last. There is a good reason for that. Simply put? I am a dork. I got on here to post about our Bitty Burgers, and somehow (don’t ask me how) ended up posting, instead, about being 9 years old. So here is what I wanted to share about our burgers…

It’s actually kinda sad. =(

For Mike’s birthday last week, the kids and I decked Dad out in all manner of grilling. Well, except for the apron. I don’t think he’d have worn one anyway… So he has a new grill and a cool Texas flag-themed chair (my man, he loves his state!) and is the new Grill Master around these parts.

So tonight he asked if I wanted hamburgers for dinner. Out he goes to play with starter fluid and FIRE while I cut up and moosh 2 pounds of raw cow into burger shapes. At this point they were not bitty. They were not huge, as I had cut each 1 lb log into 4 patties, but they weren’t bitty, either.

Now, meat does shrink as it cooks. We all know that. We expect that. What we didn’t expect was for it to practically DISAPPEAR! After grilling to a lovely color, Mike decided I better microwave them for the last few degrees of internal doneness because the fat was dripping onto the coals and now there were angry flames trying to devour (or at least char) our burgers before they could reach the 180 F that we were shooting for. So he brought them in, and I popped them in the nuker.

At this point, they were understandably somewhat smaller than they’d started out. After all, meat shrinks as it cooks. Two minutes in the nuker, I thought, should do it. Not so. The thermometer was still only peaking at about 120-130.

Back in they went. Five minutes this time. Still only around 130-140 or so. WHAT? Ok… another 5min. SURELY, I thought, this would be enough. This would make who-knows-how-long on the grill plus 12 minutes in the microwave.

When the nuker beeped, I immediately hopped up to go check the temp. I reckoned maybe the patties were cooling off before I could get my slow tookus over there with the thermometer. I was much quicker this time. Internal temp?

150 F. Barely.

Regardless, we declared them more than done. They absolutely HAD to be, as any longer in the magic microwave and they would have been gone completely! We didn’t have hamburgers anymore, we had Bitty Burgers. (That, disgustingly enough, were swimming in a sizzling lake of greasy fat.)

Seriously these suckers were smaller than the infamous White Castle burgers. No lie. They would have been a huge hit at a toddler’s Mini-Everything birthday party. Though… I’m not sure where you would find buns small enough. They were about 1.5″ in diameter. Soooo cute! Good thing I’d put together 8 patties even though Matthew was staying the night with a friend. Since one had jumped ship grill during the initial warming phase we were down to 7 Bitty Burgers for the 3 of us.

Seven burgers for three people. Not NEARLY enough considering it took 3 patties to mostly fill the hamburger bun. Four if you were using regular white bread. Well, at least we had tater tots and cottage cheese…

One scrape (not bite, these suckers were petrified beyond bite-capabilities…the teeth just scraped down the side) later and Mike declared two things:

1. I am to only purchase the more expensive LEAN meat from now on. The leanest I can find.
2. Tonight’s burgers would be furnished by Dairy Queen.

Posted: June 10th, 2008 under blogging, funnies, lettin' hubby lead.
Comments: none

Matthew has had a couple of interesting days. He saw the new pediatrician yesterday. She is SO not happy that he has had to be on so much medicine “every day of his life” and so is running some RAST testing to find out what enviros he is allergic to so we can look at “immunotherapy“. We were having to pull out the big-gun words because Mr. Smarty-Words had already started freakin’ out over the whole “vaccine” thing. Having just read about Salk and the polio vaccine in history… he was totally clued in to what would be taking place in the next few minutes.

So this is cool! Maybe she can get him off the massive doses of antihistamine, and the other half-a-dozen things he’s been relying on to keep his asthma and allergies under control. She also signed the paperwork for the Lyme testing without batting an eyelash. In fact, she was WAY cool with it. yea!! So after a couple of pokes yesterday, and then the blood draw today (for which the dr gave him some numbing cream…yea again!!), he was feeling very put-out.

As we left the dr office after the vaccines yesterday, I said something like, “So was it as bad as you thought it would be?” To which he replied, “Yes. It hurt, but it still didn’t hurt as much as giving away the dogs. I still miss them.” The last half of which I had to squint to understand through the high-pitched whine and tears. Poor kid.

After the blood draw today he declared that he hated the age of 9. It has been the worst year of his life, ever! he says. I can kinda see where he would think that… giving up the dogs, getting into big trouble with the police, missing out on a fishing trip with his pastor, and now… horror of horrors… shots and blood draws! Actually, it is likely to get worse for him, as I can not homeschool this coming year. That means Mr. EXTREME-O Shy will have to go to a school of some sort. That is not going to be easy on him.

Even so, personally I would think Meagan has had a rougher year, though to be sure her yuckiness started back at 9.5, so maybe there is something to that whole the-age-of-9-is-the-worst after all. She’s had braces put on, an ingrown toenail cut-out, started monthly OW! shots, had a case of stomach bug that left her puking every 30min for about 12hr, gotten glasses, had a huge abscess from one of those monthly shots that then drained… at school, had 7 teeth pulled at once, and added another nightly shot.

Ya know? Now that I really think about it? I was 9 when I had a slumber party that only 2 girls out of the whole class showed up to, we moved into my aunt’s on-the-market-home and then into an apartment, discovered that homeschooling did NOT mean you didn’t have to do schoolwork, and got my face slammed into the concrete by the girl next door. Oh, and I had two break-ups. One boyfriend moved, handing me off to his best friend, and then *I* moved.

Oh the horrors of being 9!! I wonder if anything horrible happened to Mike when he was 9. Doesn’t matter. I definitely had it worse, don’t you think? ;-)

Posted: June 10th, 2008 under Matthew, Meagan, family, funnies, kids.
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So the dogs went… and sooner than expected… in came the kitty.

Yuppers, skippers. We have a kitten. A little gray tabby kitten, presumed to be female (like I’m gonna check…even if I did I would never be able to tell at this age because like I don’t know a thing about cats), and named Chloe. She’s been here one week now, and she actually went through 3 name changes the first day. First she was Heidi, then Clover, then Brogan, and finally the kids settled on Chloe.

It’s definitely her name, though. It’s weird, but I had actually thought of Chloe myself before the kids came up with it. That’s creepily reminiscent of how Mike and I chose Meagan’s first AND middle names (a month apart, by the way). We both kinda came up with them on our own and when we discovered that fact…well, obviously there was no other option, then, huh? =)

I would show you a pic since true to prior pet history the kids have taken approximately 19,236 pictures of the new little one, BUT true to prior digital camera unloading history… I haven’t. So the camera is full and the computer, and by extension this blog post, is not.

S’alright, though. Just imagine a teensy little thing small enough to sit in even the kids’ hands. Dark and light gray stripes, with a dark-tipped tail, and the prettiest little blue eyes you ever did see.

Ok, ok. I confess. I’m smitten with the kitten.

And my cat-allergy? Well it was a problem the first couple of days and so I did the Benadryl thing until I could get to the store and get some Claritin. I took that once, and have forgotten every night since, but the eyes and nose? Doin’ just fine, thank you.

Maybe I’m just allergic to new kittens or cats that don’t like to curl up in my lap for their nap.

The kids had cleaned their room (I know, I think I just fell over dead, too!) a couple of days ago, but then one or the other of them got this creative spark that caught fire.

Tonight I had to bulldoze my way through the tangles of cardboard boxes, wood, and duct tape that they’ve declared is “Chloe’s Playground”. It completely fills their room. Seriously. And it’s a big room, too.

I’m so glad this creative spark did not come a month ago. Can you imagine the size of the playground they’d have made for Butterscotch and Brownie? Those pets were bigger than Matthew, whereas this one is only slightly bigger than my coffee cup! I guess that playground would’ve covered the HOUSE, so basically I’d have to blog from the interior of a cardboard box and duck every time the basketball sized bouncy monkey came swinging in from where it was duct-taped to the skylight.

I’m thinking Chloe might make the blogging a bit safer… at least until she learns cats are meant to walk across the keyboard while you attempt to type. Maybe she’ll be too busy with the ramps and skylights and hangy-down-thingies in her playground to ever figure that out.

In other news:

Mike has put me in charge of taking care of the weeds and has declared that under no circumstances am I to go anywhere near the trees. Franny the Fern is looking a little… ummmm… well, she has a fast-receding hairline I guess. And what’s left isn’t just real healthy looking. I think she might need a VO5 hot oil treatment or something. =/

I did get a little housework done today, and shockers of shockers… I even got the kids to help. Basically I told them uh-uh-no-way to any and all fun ANYTHING until we had the dining room clean. (Just one room. The three of us. Not great expectations. Just a leetle was what I was aiming for…) I swept the entire floor into a pile and the kids were told to pick out what was not trash and put it away. Then I had Meagan dustpan it all into the trash, I cleared and wiped down the table, and Matthew picked up some of his strewn school stuff. Then I mopped. I also gave Meagan a little help (shhhhh!) with her chore of dishes by unloading 2x and loading once without her knowing. I did this because I wanted to actually find the countertops sometime this week. I even made dinner tonight! Tacos, rice, and beans. Mmmm!

After having done so much today, I decided I could do a little fun stuff and not feel too guilty, so I got out the super-secret crochet project I have going (I’m actually about half…maybe more… done, so it IS coming along…) and popped in the Mythbusters DVD from Netflix that finally resurfaced.

I only managed about 15 stitches before my hands and fingers were screaming “We’re tired. PLEASE don’t make us do this. Ok, that’s it, we’re going to outright revolt, and HURT on top of being tired.”

Pathetic, huh? Some days it’s like that. Other days? Well sometimes I can crochet for 2, 3, even 4 hours (at a pretty steady quick clip) with no problem whatsoever. If you’re wondering how I can type but not crochet– crocheting means fingers held in towards hand with tension, typing has fingers spread out… crocheting requires arms to move and hang in the air to a certain degree, typing means (for me because I am a lazy typer) my arms nearly glued to the desktop and fingers resting on keys. Oh, yeah and pills. =)

So anyway I gave it up and just watched the show…with a snoozing kitten in my skirt-turned-kitten-hammock.

Then I got the kids to bed (all three…two in their beanbags, and the littlest one is curled up in the dustpan…I have no idea why) with minimal muss and now I’m going to go watch another episode of Mythbusters and go beddy-bye myself.

Posted: June 5th, 2008 under funnies, just life, kids, projects, the cat.
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Our route to church goes something like this:

1. Leave driveway, turning left.
2. Drive to stop sign (you can see it once you get out of the driveway) and stop.
3. Turn right.
4. Drive to church parking lot (you can see it once you turn onto the road) and turn in and park.

As simple as that sounds, apparently last night step #s 2 and 3 were just TOO MUCH for my brain to handle.

I got step one down, without a problem. Even pulled off the first part of step two without a hitch. It was the stop, and then the extremely complicated step 3 that was a doozy.

As I approached the stop sign, I knew I needed to be doing something before and/or as I got to the stop sign, and it seemed like it had something to do with the thingies on the side of the steering column. Oh, and also I think I’m supposed to be stepping on the brakes…yeah that’s it.

So as we kinda bucked to a stop (real smooth on the braking, I was!), I caught myself just before I put the van into reverse!

I guess the fact that the gearshift is on the RIGHT side of the steering column and I was needing to turn RIGHT somehow melded into a congealed mass in my brain. I dunno. I’m just glad I caught myself before I actually changed gears and let off the brake!

True, we probably would have been fine even if I had actually done it since there was no one behind us. Probably we’d have started moving backwards, I would’ve sorta freaked (which I did anyway!), stopped, and fixed the problem. No harm done.

But STILL!

It scared me, peoples, because…well…

I almost put the van into REVERSE so I could make a right-hand turn at a stop sign!

Also? In thinking/looking back? I think I was braking with my left foot. Why???

Posted: May 26th, 2008 under funnies, just life.
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I had two thoughts today… (shocking, I know. Probably the ONLY two thoughts I had today. Keep reading and you’ll see why I say that….)

One: Matthew’s behavior has historically been “he’ll do ok for a week or two, and then he blows it and is right back to being a terror for a couple of weeks” That is something we’ve all said/noticed about him for MONTHS, if not years.

We were TOTALLY seeing a pattern, just in a broad kind of way. I kept looking for a pattern in the smaller things, like what sets him off? Anything can. Can’t find a pattern. He’s always been so volatile. Stupid little things might set him off, but great big things he might handle just fine.

The pattern isn’t in activities or events on a day-to-day basis. The pattern is in TIME.

He’ll have a couple of weeks in which he keeps the massive meltdowns and rages out of the picture almost 100% (maybe a few very brief moments of getting upset, but then getting over it again real quick before massive meltdown) and then have a couple of weeks in which that is pretty much the standard. The first week nearly all day every day, and then the second maybe better, but still not “good”. Like maybe only 2 or 3 big huge meltdown/rage/tantrum things, instead of 2 or 3 (or one looooooong one) a day.

Thought #2: I noticed that a lot of times I tell the kids to go do something and they get upset because they are doing something else I told them to do. The aha! part is that I’m telling them the 2nd thing because I’ve FORGOTTEN the first thing. No, I mean REALLY forgotten. I only realized it because tonight I caught myself. The kids have pointed it out to me before, but it never clicked what they meant. (I totally figured they were just trying to get out of doing whatever…)

I told Meagan to do something (I can not remember now what and it’s only been an hour) and walked by the bathroom door; saw her in there and started to tell her to go do something but then actually remembered, “hang on, I just told her to go do that other thing, so I’ll wait till she finishes that”.

Of course NOW, I have no idea whether I actually did tell her the second thing or not.

I don’t remember.

Posted: May 21st, 2008 under Matthew, funnies, just life, kids.
Comments: none

I’d like to say we eat dinner together as a family every night. I’d like to, but I won’t because that would be wrong. Because basically it would be a lie. A big lie. A big, fat, WHOPPING lie.

Upon further reflection I’d like to change the above introduction to read: I’d like to say my husband and I eat a nice quiet dinner, with meaningful conversation ALL BY OURSELVES miles and miles away from the nearest 9yo with an inquiring mind and nearest 10yo with a case of the preteen pouts.

The reality is we eat dinner together as a family a couple of times a week on average. Oh sure there are the weeks when I’m feeling very Carol Brady-ish all week long, but most of the time I’m feeling Roseanne-Barr-ish or perhaps Lucille-Ball-ish. So on average, twice a week.

I was feeling pretty Brady-ish today, so I actually got some chores done. Let me just say that any time mopping is involved you know I’m feeling Brady-ish, which is actually kinda weird, because didn’t Carol have a housekeeper for all the mopping-like chores?

When I’m in a Brady kind of a mood, you know I’m all about the home-cooked meal (again very weird since I’m pretty sure Alice did most of the cooking, but the messed-up workings of my mind are infamous, so there ya go!).

I’m all about the having the kids cheerily clear and set the table while I’m whistling and smiling contentedly (what? that’s not possible? leave me alone, I’m having a delusion of grandeur here!!) as I lovingly(?!) chop the veggies to go with our healthy salad, the kids and I patiently waiting on Daddy to get to the table to say the blessing (that just sounds so much nicer than the munchkins bickering at each other while I fold a load of laundry, don’t you think?), and of course… the delightful dinner conversation. Little vignettes of our happy, productive days being shared back and forth, with loving compliments on accomplishments being passed right along with the parmesan. (We had Upside Down Pizza for dinner!)

Yeah, right. OR…. the 9yo might have asked just how is it that a condom keeps the sperm from getting to the egg anyway…

Then, upon receiving an answer to that question, he just might have asked some other questions.

And it just might have evolved into a big, long discussion on just exactly what happens to all those thousands of eggs we females are born with if they DON’T turn into babies?

And being female myself I have to say that while we (ok, I) shared with our kids the ugly truth, I really do wish the truth were prettier.

About here my dahling 9yo asked if it hurt when we, ummm, get rid of unused stuff. At which point my not-so-dahling-right-now husband told him, “I didn’t feel a thing!” and laughed. He LAUGHED, ladies! Can you imagine?!

Don’t worry. =) Conversation soon turned to more pleasant things… what? You don’t believe me? Neither do I. How about pit bulls and how they have been known to tear poor little babies’ faces off? (This was because the kids had recently been offered a pit bull puppy. We were explaining just WHY this was absolutely, uh-uh, no-way, never ever EVER, gonna happen. To their little minds “FREE PUPPY” meant Mom and Dad would certainly say yes because after all, we HAD told them we would get another dog, and we ARE cheapskates, so FREE and PUPPY = New Friend!!! Right? WRONG!)

So anyhow, the whole pit bull attack thing, of course, led the kids on a google image search of pit bulls. And THAT led to (among other even sadder and scarier images that are just TOO horrible to reproduce here as they involve precious little children and I am now trying to scrub my eyeballs and heart free of those images, but which are probably included in the search results that will pop up if you click on that google link) — this:

Yeah, I don’t think this family will be winning any dinner conversation awards. I’m thinking it’s probably a good thing we don’t eat OUT together as a family more than a handful of times a year! Oh, and I’m also betting that the restaurants we visit are very grateful (whether they realize it or not!) that we do not own a google-enabled laptop with which the children can easily pull up visuals for the entire restaurant’s patronage to enjoy… because pretty much? I’m betting they wouldn’t enjoy. At all.

Bet you’re not eating dinner now, but if you WERE, I’m sorry for ruining your pizza. Truly.

One more thing. Do you think the conversation problem is because we don’t have enough practice with the whole sit-down eat dinner together thing? Or do you think we don’t sit down and eat dinner together BECAUSE of the conversation problem? I’m leaning towards the latter since right now just thinking about a repeat performance is making me want to run and hide.

One more, one more thing. Rest assured, this post really does NOT have a thing to do with the last one, although admittedly it could LOOK like it… The whole itching ovaries thing was not mentioned around the kids, though it IS common knowledge round these here parts that Mom would NOT be adverse to another baby or six. ;-)

The question that started this whole mess I think came about because we had a discussion on how/why identical twins look alike the other day that involved chalkboard drawings of eggs being fertilized and then splitting. That coupled with a prior knowledge that condoms = no babies, which could have been learned from a billion different places. I can’t remember how long back the kids knew that little nugget of knowledge. It is a shame, but it is the sad truth. Throw all that in the mind of a 9 year old boy, and let it stew for a day or two…

And ok, in hindsight I really CAN see how it would have been MUCH better form for us as parents to hand out a “that’s not polite dinner conversation, we’ll talk about it later” statement, and then follow it up… later… away from the dinner table. Thing is? My mind doesn’t work that way yet. I’m trying, but I’ve just not gotten there yet. Really, the only thing that crossed my mind when the question was popped was just exactly how NON-graphic could I make my response while still telling him the truthful answer.

Kinda explains this post, too, huh?

Also those ovaries aren’t itching near so much after tonight’s 3 and a half hour long getting-ready-for-bed battle. It’s 11:30pm for pete’s sake!! Sheesh-ka-bobs!

Posted: May 19th, 2008 under dogs, family, funnies, just life, kids.
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I can count on one hand the number of times I have held an infant in the 5yr since my very good friend and her newest bouncing babe moved 5hr away.

Three times. All in the last year. The latest was tonight and I held that bundle of binky-sucking sweetness for at least 15min.

I always wanted 8. At least 5 “homegrown”, because I’m one of those weird ones who actually likes the whole “being pregnant” thing.

I have 2, am very grateful for them, and love them to pieces, but I have to say…

My ovaries are definitely having an allergic reaction of ginormous proportions right now.

I’m just sayin. ;-)

Posted: May 18th, 2008 under funnies, just life, kids, the changing me.
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Pictures forthcoming…I hope.

Long week.

Friday I was going to borry Mike’s puter to upload some pics of something. I don’t really remember what now. I was too tired, so I went to bed.

Saturday I was supposed to go do laundry, instead I played hooky. Ok, so the van was outta commission while it got a new leg, I mean tire. (FYI, running over son’s bicycle *might* cause a tire failure.)

Monday the son slept all day long (no, really!) due to NOT taking his allergy meds the night before and so having to resort to the Benadryl. Benadryl = snores. Or at least it did this time. He slept till 2pm!

He was just waking up good when we got home from picking Meagan up at 3pm, and then we had to turn around and go to the eye dr. They’d had a cancellation, and so could Matthew come in at 4pm?

So that went well. NOT! Refused to let the dr do the glaucoma test. Even under threat of “I’ll call your father”. UGG

So I spent Monday night and all day Tuesday FREAKIN OUT that the dr would call the cops or CPS or someone because I used the ’s’ word in his office.  You know… s p a n k i n g. Yeah, that one. See! It’s so horrible I don’t dare write it all together because it might get googled.

Yes, I know I am a paranoid nut. It sucks, but I deal. Mostly by crying and praying. It’s a good thing the Lord is gentle and patient…I don’t know how he puts up with my pathetic-ness. (That is TOO a word…I just said so!)

It gets better. Tuesday afternoon we had to go BACK to the eye dr to pick up Meagan’s new gear. Pretty in pink, she is. (Picture forthcoming!!) I just hope she doesn’t take any more basketballs to the face, cause I doubt the insurance will pay for 2 pairs of specs in a year…

Tuesday night was fun, too. After getting the specs, we did laundry. When we got home, Matt asked to go play. Ummm, nope, still have homework to finish. He throws a pencil (and generally a FIT) so I send him to his room.

He was quiet, then. I ASSUMED (and you know what they say about ASS-U-ME-ing…) he was quiet because he was reading some of his series books. He’d spent several hours last week doing just that instead of whatever he was supposed to be doing.

I went to check email before starting dinner. The doorbell rang and I could see it was a couple of the neighborhood kids. This was the second doorbell since getting home from laundry. Like the first, I started to tell this group that Meagan had gone down the hill and Matt wasn’t through with homework…except I didn’t get to. They had come to tell ME that Matthew was causing problems down the hill.

Oy vey! The kid had snuck out the window! No wonder he was quiet. Several phone calls, door-knockings (and no answers… we have to wonder if they were knowingly aiding and abetting by harboring a fugitive of parental justice…), and slow drives around the block later, he finally shows back up with his bike. Of course, by that time Mike had called in to work, and had also called the police.

This kid is bound and determined to turn me grey, I tell you. =(

So today said son toured the police department. He is not to leave the property the rest of the month (well unless his dad or I take him) and if he does and the cops happen to see him, they are going to take him to the department and call us. This is the arrangement Mike set up. Matthew is not actually in trouble with the law, they are doing this as a favor to us. His trouble-making yesterday was not anything more than a pushing/yelling match with another kid, from the sounds of it they were BOTH at fault. The problem is more that he is just flat-out NOT obeying his dad and I and has now taken to just taking off. It’s this taking off that we’re really worried about. If we don’t get this stopped NOW…ya know?

So, he had a bit of a pre-arranged scare with the police, and hopefully that will be enough to keep him from leaving the house/property without permission again.

Meanwhile…back at the ranch… =)

I was without internet here at my puter for a couple of days because I’m blond. I guess. Apparently I had the wrong network thingy enabled…or the cable plugged into the wrong network place thingy or something like that. I just know the puter kept telling me the network cable was unplugged and it SO was not! Thankfully, Bro3 got me fixed right back up after he took Bro4 and Bro5 to their club-thingy-ma-jigger.

He also fixed me right up with one of these, with which we then proceeded to check out money, hair, skin, tongue, Meagan’s bloody band-aid (she had a Lupron shot and bloodwork today), and a tick off one of the dogs. (Yes they are still here…yes they are still covered in ticks as is our backyard…in fact, Matt pulled a tick outta his waistband area last night! UGG!)

It was a Mother’s Day present for his favorite sister. Hey! I KNOW I must be his favorite sister…never mind that we have 4 other really great sisters. I am his favorite. I know because I said so. So there. =)

So we spent a couple of hours checking out gross stuff. Unfortunately, though, we did NOT spend any time whatsoever checking out this. Not that I didn’t try, mind you. I did, indeed, immediately DUMP the entire contents of my purse onto the floor in the hopes of retrieving the hair. Somehow, though, the ziploc baggy which contained the hair WAS NOT THERE! I do not know where it went. I kept it in my purse for weeks. Months, even. I do not remember pulling it out at all, and yet… it’s gone. I am so sad. =(

Also? As horrifically split-ended my hair was (I don’t care if that is a made-up term…I like it!), inexplicably it was looking mighty healthy when my SnowBuddy and I went looking for a replacement for the record-breaker. The closest we came was an ordinary single split end. How totally unexciting and boring.

Best close-up so far? One of my chin hairs. As it flashed across the screen, Bro3 shrieked and cried out, “What was that? It looked like a CLAW!”

(And yes, it was a shriek. Definitely. NOT a manly grunt of disgust. A little girl shriek. I know this because I just said so. I can, ya know, because he’s my little brother. Ok, my YOUNGER brother… by 2yr, 3wks, 6days, and 12hrs thankyouverymuch!)

Micro-mini projects update… penguin and bib both done. Overwhelmed by cool idea/pattern and so now partway through secret project. It’s crochet, but that’s all I’m sayin’ right now. All cubbies re-installed in Matt’s closet. Both clothes rods re-installed. Shelves over clothes rods still not. Going to be tackling the painting of the front hall/entryway next. Same blue/white as the living room.

Posted: May 8th, 2008 under Matthew, Meagan, family, funnies, just life, kids, projects.
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